The Fight...thats worth fighting for!

Fight!?...you wander...What fight!?
The fight for your marriage!!
Yes...I'm not at all afraid to be open to the fact that Kenny and I have had our share of battles. Some where it felt like there was no hope, no happiness, no love! On June 30th...we celebrated our 8th year of marriage. We also confessed all our short-comings too. Your probably wandering why would you want to do that on your anniversary!? Well, it was not at all what we had intended for the evening...but it all seemed to just flow out. Its funny how we let temptation stare us in the face, nose to nose and never have the guts to runaway from it. Its funny how we self-consciously do the things we do...knowing in the back of our minds its wrong. Why do we continue to hurt the people we love? Well...I tell ya what!? This man and woman are willing to fight and do whatever it takes for what we believe in! And we believe in our Marriage!! I know my baby loves me...so much so...that he has shown me more than ever within these past few days! There are going to be some changin goin on around here and I'm ready! God brought this man in my life for a reason and some may think its petty for me to say such things...but I believe it! God loves me yall!! :) HE has given me such a good man and 4 beautiful children! If that's not love...I don't know what is? I am so blessed and will fight for what I believe in! I'm sure we will have more battles ahead of us...but I'm sure that this time we will be fully equipped with the armor of God...cause yall I'm willing to fight this battle on the home front with NO FEAR!! Because... Our Marriage is worth fighting for...NO QUESTIONS ASKED!!

Alot is on my mind today...not sure where to begin...
We lost a family member this past week. Wow...what a shocker! I guess we just sometimes take life for granted and think some people can live forever! I don't remember alot of things about cousin Johnny, but I knew he was always sweet to me. Whenever I saw him...he was always giving me a compliment...what a sweetheart! I hate sometimes that our family is so distant and we lose touch with certain family members. I miss our family being close-knit...like it use to be when paw-paw was alive. Its sad that we get so caught up in this fast paced world...that we can never seem to make the time. Time is so precious!! Each time we lose someone...I believe its also God's reminder to us that time is precious and living your life for Him is important! I will be making the trip to AL Friday or Sat. and I'm not at all looking forward to it...under the circumstances, but I want to be there for my family! I love all of them...whether they realize it or not... even if some have said or done hurtful and hateful things...I still, love them ALL!!

May you R.I.P. Cousin Johnny! May Eva (his sister) be waiting for you through those heavenly gates with open arms.

Lord, be with Aunt Mary Helen and her family as they are going through another lose...may you comfort them in knowing that he is in a better place. Be with those who are making the trip to AL and home again...that we may have safe travels! In Jesus name we pray! Amen.

We love you Johnny and you will be truely missed!

A God Sent!

Ok...enough about the negativity about a past relationship gone wrong...lets just say, this time I HAVE left it in the Lords hands. There is nothing more I can do...but be ME! Even after getting hurt again...I will stand tall and just pray that the Lord will soften her heart from her bitterness and one day open her eyes so she may SEE!

On a lighter note...I am SO,SO Truly blessed that the Lord has brought a wonderful friend back into my life. I think he knew I would need her to lean on during these trials and tribulations. She has been AWESOME and I don't know what I would do without her. She is like another sister to me. She has been there to lift my spirits when I was down and has been such an inspiration! I love her so much! We have known each other for 9 years or more and she has seen my life come full circle. We have shared many tears and even have had our share of dis-agreements and quarrels...but we always remained friends. I tell ya...ya can't find them like that anymore. Friendships take work....just like any other relationship. I have to say...she is one that never gave up on me...:*)

This is my YOYO! :) Its funny...cause we prayed for each other during college. We became distant when we both got married...but kept in touch some. It wasn't until the Lord moved her job and it so happened to be close to me...:)
God is awesome and He knows all of our needs!!

Thank-You Lord, for sending me an angel in disguise!
Cecily

WOW!! It has been awhile! Over 2mths to be exact! ALOT has gone on from my last post. Where to begin...? I will start with friendships...
As stated in my last blog I went threw some struggles with one of my "close" friends. The end result...we are on talking terms, but things will never be the same. The issue bothered me so much even after I would pray and pray! I left it ALL in God's hand, but I really felt like HE was speaking to me one Sunday morning. I told myself I was goin to give her one last call (let me mind you that I made several attempts to call her and NO answer). Well...still NO answer....so I left a message pleading that we talk this out today if all possible. I was so ready to let her know that it was all BLOWN way out of context. What really bothered me was that she was willing to let our friendship just go by the Wayside...like she never even knew me...dropped from the face of the earth! After leaving a message...I went to my room and picked up the guitar and played a song/prayer to God....yea sounds weird, but I tend to do that sometimes...it helps me! The phone rang...I dropped the guitar and automatically knew who it was!! She was willing to meet and asked if my hubby would come. I agreed. I was a bit fustrated that the hubby's had to be there considering it was something I was wanting to work out between us. Well...lets just say I'm glad he did come...I'll tell ya why later! We got there and I brought her a few goodies to clear the air. We finally began our long over due conversation...I told her a lil bit how I have been feeling. But then the mic was turned over and I let her talk for the most part. I was a bit disgusted by her way of thinking...I was like WHO is this person!? I began to plea to her my case, but found out quick that she still had her "wall" up and was not listening at all to a word I was saying. To make a long story short, as we were talking inside, the hubby's talked too about the situation. We made it home and I was glad it was Over...sort of. They came over to visit later that day and she saisd she talked to her hubby and that she FORGAVE me. I was a bit taken back that it took her hubby to convince her! I dunno....I just know that things will never be the same...cause you tend to learn alot about a person during a conflict. She forgave me...but what did I really do wrong!? Being honest...!? I was played out to be the "villian"! But I humbled myself and let her "think" so...
Anywho...she has started to call me from time to time and MAYBE we will get back to where we were. I just know God has his plan for WHY she is in my life...guess only time will tell!
--Kids will soon be home...
to be continued...

Honesty...? I'm confused!?

Well...its been along time and of course sense then alot has gone on! But one thing that stands out more than anything or rather something that has been bothering me is...Well...I was totally honest with a friend the other day. I mean...I thought I was being a "real" friend! But since then she hasn't called...yea its only been a day...buts I feel like she has taken it waaaay out of context and put up a defense. I am trying not to worry about it. I simply pointed out what she was doing has been making me and others uncomfortable. It wasn't until I took a step back though and realized why she may be doing the things she was doing. Well, the new girl in the group confided in me about it and then I told her I had felt the same at first (which prolly made it worse). I think I just blew it by being honest with my long time friend or was being honest about it the best thing...? I dunno...I'm a bit confused!? I just know I felt so bad talking about my friend to another (negatively) that I came home to the hubby and crawled in his lap about to cry asking him what should I do and how bad of a person I was. I then called the "new girl" and told her how I felt and didn't want her to think this and that about me since I had talked that way. I dunno...it was just on my conscience and I couldn't rest until I talked to one of them! Well...I ended up talking to BOTH! I think I will let it rest for now. Maybe with a lil time things will get straightened out or either I'll lose a friend or 2...:( Friendships are so hard when you are married with 4 youngens. I think I just need to re-focus!

Confession and Love

Well...as some of you know I am back on Myspace. Say Wha!? Yes...I did it again! The hubby was gone this past weekend to guard drill and I got so BORED! How can you get bored with 4 kids, being a housewife, and having a part-time!? Well...its easy really...I am so use to my hubby being with me at night that I just kinda got wrapped up in the loneliness of him being gone. Yea...I know it was only for a weekend! But let me tell ya...I had LOADS of clothes to wash/fold/put up and I did it all within 2 days with the exception of one of those days staying up till 2am. And I hate doing Laundry!! Guess that goes to show ya how BORED I was...lol! I did confess to the hubby and a couple of others that I was back on. Am I addicted...? I am sorry to say that I am...But to respectfully justify that it is only for good reason. I enjoy the fact that I can keep in touch with the click of a button and esp. enjoy that I can express myself thru music and writing. I have friends/family that are on facebook that aren't on myspace...vise versa. I did however had to change a few setting on it because as I stated on my previous blog some took it to seriously...let me mind you I want add "those kind" again! Or at least try not to....I think sometimes I just don't have the HEART to delete or not add....my weakness. Oh...plus...the hubby will be gone a good bit next month...:( I'm sure you will see and hear more from me. As far as the "importance of"...I have definetly prioritized things during the time I was off of it. Well, thats my confession.

ANother thing...
When the hubby got home...he clapped and congrats me on a job well done on the clothes...lol! Oh and yesterday...which I thought was so SWEET and I really was suprised to hear! He said, "Babe I just want to tell you that I have noticed you have been working really hard at keeping the house clean and neat and I just wanted to tell you Thank-you and that you have been doing such a good job...Love you!" He NOTICED!!! LOL! It was really good to hear that from him! He's my BESTIES Friend!!!!:)

The Love Dare

I finally bought the book! I just loved the movie (FIREPROOF) and would recommend it and the book to anyone! The hubby and I went to go watch it in Southhaven...since it didn't look like it was coming to our area. I hope more movies come out like this one. It is much needed in today's society!

Back to the book "The Love Dare"

All I can say is WOW! Its a bit harder than I thought...not meaning the actual dare...but the part where you have to NOT say anything "negative" towards your spouse. I mean...I already feel like I carry a HEAVY load and when I don't get full cooperation...well, I tend to complain a bit. I'm working on it though...:)

Right now I am on Dare 3...so far so good. Today's Dare is not over though...The hubby hasn't come home from work yet...lol! I did buy him something to let him know I was thinking of him...:) I made him a basket full of goodies...:) He will be going to Drill this weekend so I figured I would get him some things he might need for his trip and a special card...:) I hope he likes it! Well, I better go...I'm going to go put it in his truck at work...;)

The Love Dare to be continued...

This is IT! :)

OH MY!!...I so happened to read this one today and it sounded so much like me! I just had to re-post for someone out there to read...lol! Notice the TITLE of my Blog...;) I'm still learning how to "Be still".



The Best of Intentions
It begins with the very best of intentions.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
Prayer area, snuggled in my bed, low light on ~ check
Bible ~ check
Devotional Study ~ check
Something to sip on ~ check
Pen, journal and anything else I've scooped up along the way ~ check

I have worked hard in "quieting my soul." I come prepared and if I'm being honest (and I am), I have to admit that sometimes it sounds like this:
"Father God, I want to put myself in a place of peace with you....drats, I forgot to take meat out for dinner, and the girls owe money today for class; have to remember to write that check, trash goes out tomorrow and recycling too."
"Oops, I lost focus for a moment, but I'm back God. I want more than anything to be in your perfect will and oh man, that lesson plan for Friday, haven't done it yet and tomorrow if I get up early I can exercise, and I need to get the kids to get those thank you notes done, and I told them I'd bring cookies to class, what kind should I bake? I really have to get that hair color for my hair."
Again...I've lost my prayer focus.I'm distracted not by the things that surround me physically, but the distractions in my mind. I've quieted myself and now I have to quiet my soul, and truly 'be still.'
“God never ceases to speak to us, but the noise of the world without and the tumult of our passions within bewilder us and prevent us from listening to him." Francois Fenelon
It frustrates me and I'm working on it. I imagine many women with to-do lists a mile long are plagued with the same distractions. We physically slow down, but we don't slow our minds down long enough to center ourselves on God, and yet we expect to 'hear' Him amidst the noises within our heads that disrupt our time of 'stillness.'I have come up with a few things that work for a gal in perpetual motion like myself. Before I come to my "quiet time" I make my lists. All of the things that tend to distract me from my time with the Lord. The lists are a mile long some days, but if I make the list, then when I come to my time with the Lord I can focus on what He is saying and not on the tasks of the day. I can mention those things on the list that are troubling my heart and instead of it being a distraction, it becomes part of the prayer.I've also learned how to not WAIT for quiet time to engage in a heart to heart with my God. This Martha spirit has learned to slow down a bit, and I've learned to pray my way through the day. I have a journal that I'm keeping with me so that when I'm sitting waiting to pick up a child, I can be seizing the quiet moment in the car.I have tried for the past few years to "set aside" time, and in that I've neglected the opportunities of quiet that appear throughout the day. These "quiet moments" come in unlikely places, usually when I'm doing something that causes others to "scatter." Folding laundry, showering and coming home from dropping a child off at classes are ALL "be still and know that I am God" opportunities in the midst of a hurried life. I am learning that there are opportunities within the chaos to be "momentarily still" and utter a prayer of thanks for the warm water or the coffee that flows. There are times when I can still my soul within the daily demands. I don't have to completely shut down to let God in.God knows my heart, He KNOWS that I long to have a conversation with Him that is intimate and constant. He understands where I am. He knows what I struggle with and it's in talking constantly to Him that I feel connected, really connected. He hears the interruptions that fill my day, and HE longs to be a part of it all. Talking to Him throughout the day has made it such that when I do 'stop' for the day, I can truly stop and 'be still' with Him, knowing that all along I've been sharing the details He longs to hear. It's in that peace that I can quiet myself and truly, in my quiet time, "BE STILL and KNOW that HE is GOD" (psalm 46:10).
I ponder a quote that I read some time back that has helped me in praying continually to God,
“There is not in the world a kind of life more sweet and delightful than that of a continual conversation with God.” Brother Lawrence

Father,Guide me as I journey into a more intimate relationship with you. Help me to treat you as my best friend, chatting with you continually throughout the day. Help me to "sieze" the quiet moments that you carefully place in my day so that I may quiet my spirit and "be still," even for a few moments to hear your voice and feel your presence. I want to throw off all that hinders me, and I want to run the race with endurance. I want to feel your presence at my side, not just in the quiet moments but in the chaos that is daily life as well. It's involving YOU in every part of my day Lord that I will draw closer to you, and that is truly my heart's desire.Amen

Join Lori daily at her personal blogspot, where she can be found finding Jesus in the daily details of her life. She is continually learning how to "be still."

These Smiles...:)

Look at the smiles on these faces would ya! Let me give you a lil'background.
My hubby bought this Honda off of my brother which was given to him by my dad. Anywho...my hubby has been wanting one to fix up so he could practice his riding. He has had it for a good while now and has tinkered with it off and on. He recruited another friend (not pictured) and he would come over every day after work to help kenny out. Well...on this particular night we heard something different coming from the back yard...lol! In this pic on right is Doug. His wife is also a good friend of mine. We were inside when we heard the loud noise of this thing. We told each other that they finally got it! Let me mind you it was getting really close to my bed time...lol! I'm sorry it was passed my bed time! It was 1 o'clock in the morning passed my bed time! Kenny rode it to the front and I had to catch a picture of these guys and there accomplishment. If you look closely...that is a riding lawn mower gas tank ontop/infront of kenny, the original has holes in it. My hubby was so happy this day and also so very tired. He doesn't want it to get out that he has it running yet. He wants to make it a surprise! So, keep it on the "down low"...;) I tell ya though...We OWE Doug BIG TIME! Another day full of GOOD FRIENDS!

Thankful and truly blessed!
Cecily

The Myspace World

I did it! I finally deleted my myspace account! It hasn't even been a week yet, but I am ok with it. I can't believe it has got to this point. There has been this "feeling" I have been having about it for some time now...but just have been ignoring it! On several occasions I have either deleted some friends or rather acquaintances, or kept my account open with no friends. There has just been something about the thing that just bothers me inside. I just figured why NOT delete it and stop coming up with excuses to KEEP IT. I have come to find that some people take it WAAAAY to seriously!! I just want to take a break from it FOR NOW. I had started becoming consumed with it. I just feel like I could be doing other productive things! I think most of us stay at home moms will become consumed with it because we feel like we have NO social life. Its addicting and I don't like the THOUGHT of being addicted to something! I've even gone as far as to tell my hubby to turn off our internet that way we could save that money. Who knows that might be next...and I will have to go back to writing in my journal....lol! Which will be ok too...because I kinda miss the simpler things.

Well, I know you think there has to be more to it than that for you to go to that Extreme. Why go and delete the account when you could have done this or that you may wander!? Well the way I did it was weighed out the pros and cons. In my case I came up with more cons than pros. Its just that simple. I'm not saying I will not create another one...just at this time....I feel like I need the piece of mind knowing more of my TIME is going elsewhere of more importance than sitting at this computer...and as my hubby would say..."playing on myspace".

Thank you Lord for giving me the will power ( I can't believe I have to have will power for something like this) and continually showing me there are things more IMPORTANT!

P.S.
This is only in my case.
I do have facebook...but it's not nearly the same! Some would agree!?

Lesson Learned
Cecily

Keeping my Cool and my Sweeties!

Hey there!

I'm goin to try and attempt this tonight while Harlee is still awake. If I don't make sense...you'll know why...lol! Kenny took my other 3 to the VFW to do "MY" work. My sweet, sweet hubby! I think he knew Momma needed a break! There has been alot on my mind here lately. Well, let me just get started...



PAUSE----gotta get Harlee off the Modem



K, Just this past Tues. we have had an issue on the house come up again. I'll get to that "issue" in a minute. I'll start by saying I woke up that morning in a fairly good mood(meaning I didn't want to get out of bed...lol!) I went to work that morning and came home early. Kenny then called me wanting to do lunch. I got in and then some friends called wanting to come over with their nephews to play with my youngens. I was cleaning at the time and was a lil hesitant on saying OK...but I did cause I got to thinking they don't ask to do that very much and who cares what my house looks like. Believe me it was a MESS!! They arrived and with my many apologies with my piles of laundry on the couch, piles of dirty laundry in the mud room, with the added toys everywhere, oh and lets not forget the piles of dishes in the sink! It looked like Tornado central! They are always sweet to say...Girl, you have 4 kids...you do a very good job! I guess we are always harder on ourselves! Anywho...I wanted to make coffee for them...so I got started! Well, something dripped on my hand...I looked up and drips of water was coming down from the ceiling! OH GREAT! My friends husband poked a hole in it thinking the water would come gushing out...because by then it had created a bubble. We then rushed outside...he got on the roof while it was still raining to see if there was any damage...but none was to be found. He went to True Value to get a tarp for us. In the mean time I called Kenny and he was on his way. It was just me and my friend and I had become a bit quiet....thinking I guess. Not sure whether to just scream, cry, or pull my hair out! During my "thinking" and talking with my friend here and there. The kids had more toys everywhere and Harlee had done wrote on the NEW furniture with a Marker! My friend finally said..."Its ok to cry...I don't know how you keep it all in. I would have done cried already." I was a bit surprised at how calm I seemed...more like I wasn't "really" there. Earth to Cecily....your house is falling apart and kids are creating added chaos all around you! But you know....thats not what I was thinking at all. I was thinking, I can't wait to be alone with my husband so we can see what our next step will be. And how thankful I was for my friends being there again at the right time. I couldn't say Thank-You enough for My friends hubby helping my hubby putting the tarp on the roof. There's nothing like GOOD friends!

After they left all I wanted to do was HUG my hubby! Its funny what a Hug will do!:) We then began our discussion on what to do next. I really like how my hubby thinks. He began by saying we musn't make our decision on emotion...because that was exactly what I was doing! So, we both had to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. This portion to be continued....

On another note...Later that night, I was wanting to zone out a bit. So, I got on my myspace and started listening to my music. As I was as you say zoning in and out...lol! I was watching Kenny play with the kids like he use to when Meri and Tristen were really small. They were rolling on the floor laughing...play fighting, just having fun with daddy. The kids just love this time with him! After they wore daddy out...Kenny and Tristen decided to go to the store. They got back and Kenny told me Tristen had something for me. So, Tristen brings out this card and kenny told me to read it....I can't remember at the moment what the card said...but when I opened it, it was playing the chicken song and Kenny and Tristen started doing the chicken dance...LOL! It made me laugh and laugh! Oh my sweeties! I guess I didn't realize how my mood was reading out to my children. My boy knew momma needed some cheer-up! I asked Kenny if he told Tristen to get this for me. He said No...as soon as he walked in he told me he wanted to get you some flowers or something. My sweet lil'man! When we least expect it the Lord brings you BACK to realize whats more important...Family, Friends!

In Prayer
In Thought
In Thanks

Cecily